Hello my friends…..
Lately I have had another load of big struggles in – and outside of me.
These days, I find it easier to resonate with my son, than with my daughter. She is turning into quite the teenager with an attitude. Mind you, she is only 10.
My son has had some rough patches lately, too – luckily we got it sorted out and are even closer now.
The financial situation is still extremely difficult. Especially since a source of income, that I had considered trustworthy turned sour in just a couple of days. How blessed am I, that despite the possibility of loosing money, where I thought I had finally found a way to sustain my family, no real damage was done. Thanks to my Jesus watching over me and his Angels making sure, that I was not in harms way.
Yet, that leaves me scrambling again. Not knowing where and how I can sustain my family. But I have to say: I am at peace – in the depth of my heart, I know, that my Jesus will come through again, how he has done many times over!
But last night, when I felt extremely frustrated at my daughter, I felt compelled, to ask: Lord, why is our relationship that way – what is causing us, to see each other in such a way, that we cannot see the good, but have to find fault?
This morning, as I was leaving the house, to get coffee……the Lord showed me, that I had a lot of resentment inside my heart, with respect, to how my situation is right now, I feel taken advantage of, mainly by my original family – the choices they made, have brought me to where I am right now. Mind you, I allowed it, but I am still where I am.
I know, that my little girl feels the same way in many aspects of her life. Until I release these resentments into the hands of the only one, that can heal my heart, we are bound to frustrate one another (my daughter and I – and if I look deeper, my mother and I share the same feelings, my mother and her mother, too). Again it’s this passing unresolved issues on from generation to generation.
Yet, with my son, 5 years ago, I took a step, to break those chains, that bound him and me in a similar struggle. Jesus guided my steps, and I faced a lot of the issues head on, holding on to my saviour’s hand. Knowing that he was going to walk through this with me.
Today, my son and I have a much better relationship. Now I am going to do the same for my girl. Jesus will have to help me with that one, too.
Already today I got to release some pain and I shed some tears, I know, there will be more. But ultimately I know, that we will emerge from this journey, more like Christ, more beautiful, we will have handed the ashes to the one, who longs to give us the beauty, if we only hand him all the pieces.
Very often we don’t even know, that we are still holding on to old wounds – let him show you, where you are hurting, and he will heal your heart. Very tenderly, one piece at a time. Trust the journey and he will finish the good work, he has begun in you and me.
Then, one day, we will be able to see everything in a different, more splendid light, and all our tears will be wiped away. And we shall see Jesus face to face!
God bless you, my friends, I love you,